Summary: Facing the person he loves the most about why...

The ring was destroyed now and Clark Kent was back. He wasnÂ’t sure how he felt about that. Everything he felt now was raw, uncompromising. He had nothing to hide behind. It hurt and for someone who was supposed to be immune from physical pain, that was saying something. He paused by the door and glanced at his father, every ounce of uncertainty showing in his eyes. He didnÂ’t know what his reception would be. Would she be happy to see him? Would she scream at him for leaving the way that he had? He didnÂ’t think heÂ’d be able to cope if she rejected him. Jonathan put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. It was meant to reassure but it didnÂ’t. He was scared of a tiny dynamo of a woman with fiery red hair and kind green eyes. She had the propensity to bring him to his knees with just one look, a carefully spoken phrase, a smile even.

“Go on” Jonathan whispered and Clark took a deep breath and turned the handle.

She turned as the door opened. Since Jonathan had left to get Clark sheÂ’d been restless, hovering beside the phone, scared to let it out of her sight. How would Jonathan get him back, they both knew he wasnÂ’t a match for his strength and under red kryptonite she knew he wouldnÂ’t listen to his father. SheÂ’d heard nothing and her worries went into overdrive. Her eyes widened when she saw him step hesitantly into the room. She flew towards him, throwing her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

“Clark! You’re safe, thank God you’re safe!” she whispered and for a second Clark was stunned. He then wrapped his arms around his mother and held her close. Then he briefly closed his eyes, letting the relief flood through.

He felt on edge, restless as if waiting for something but he wasnÂ’t sure what. He sat at the kitchen table, idly tapping his fingers on the worn surface. He was back in Smallville, what next? He didnÂ’t know what to do, who to see. Restless energy made him get to his feet and leave the room, get outside. He stood on the porch and stared sightlessly across the land. He took a deep breath and sighed it out, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Clark?” he turned at the soft-spoken voice and saw his mom standing in the doorway, looking hesitantly at him.

“Don’t worry mom, I’m not going to run again,” he told her. At least not for now. He heard the squeak of the door as she let it drift closed and she came to stand beside him.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, still keeping her voice low. Clark glanced at her.
“Nothing. I’m still getting used to being here again” Still getting used to the silence, being able to see the stars glitter in the sky instead of being greeted by a haze of smog and pollution.

“It’s got to be hard coming back here” After everything that had happened, those words went unsaid. It was and then again it wasn’t. It was hard facing his mom after everything that had happened three months before and yet it was easy stepping back into the bosom of his family, feeling his parents’ love. He turned and looked at his mother.

“I’m so sorry mom,” he told her, his voice rushing out of him. Martha just looked at him, a puzzled frown on her face.

“Sorry for what?” her reply momentarily stunned him. Sorry for what? What the heck kind of answer was that?

“The baby” he whispered, his eyes drifting down to her flat stomach. If it weren’t for him, that baby wouldn’t be far from being born. Regret shafted through him. If it wasn’t for him, his parents would have their ultimate heart’s desire. His selfishness had erased all possible hope.

“Clark…it’s not your fault, it was never your fault” she told him, she took a step towards him and looked up into his sorrowful blue-green eyes. He took a stumbling half step back.

“Yes it was. It was entirely my fault. I was too wrapped up in my self, I didn’t think of the consequences. I never do. Maybe it would’ve been better if I’d just stayed away”

“Better for whom? You? Me? Your father? Clark Kent, we love you, that will never change”

“If it weren’t for me you’d have all you ever wanted… a baby of your own” he frowned.

“A baby would have been a gift and a blessing, but we’ve already got all we ever wanted. We’ve got you,” she told him. He looked at her. She saw the glimmer of tears in his eyes and then saw with amazing clarity the amount of pain that he was in.

“Sweetheart, don’t blame yourself. Your father and I never have”

“But at the hospital, the way dad looked at me…” she went towards him. She took his hands and squeezed them.

“Your father was in shock Clark” Lord knows, they’d had three months to come to terms with what had happened. The Kents weren’t the type to hold onto blame. Once the numbing unreality of it all had worn off, they’d come to understand that what Clark had done had been irresponsible, and yes, wrong, but he’d done it because he’d wanted to stay. He didn’t want to bend to Jor-El’s will and had done what he’d thought had been right at the time, with devastating unforeseen consequences. He looked at his mother, wanting badly to believe her words. She squeezed his hands again.

“Would your father have gone to Metropolis if he didn’t love you? Would he have brought you back here?” her voice was barely above a whisper. She took a step towards him, into his embrace and she wrapped her arms around him.

“You are our son Clark Kent and we love you no matter what” she told him, resting her head beneath his chin. He closed his eyes and allowed himself the moment to believe.